Palinoscopy

I can't take it anymore. Sarah Palin is killing my ears. Her words spew forth from her mouth like a violent lexical volcano raining random nouns and verbs upon my ears. I want to roll around in the firey lava that are her disconnected half sentences.

Laughing on the Outside

The other night I went with some friends to the Upright Citizens Brigade theater. Judd Apatow was hosting a night of stand-up comedy. I should have enjoyed it. It was cheap. It was hilarious. All night long I watched the likes of Jonah Hill, Seth Rogen, Kevin James, and Adam Sandler do great bits. Only afterwards did it dawn on me that I will never be as funny as any of them. The only laughs directed my way are from when Austin calls me ratboy.

Writer's Block

I can't write today. I stare at the page, knowing what needs to be said, knowing what needs to be written. The words won't come. I want to string a noose made of the words I haven't written around my neck and end this pointless charade. Plus, Austin called me ratboy again last night.